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COMING OUT

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FINAL 1

We all have that weakness, shortcoming or insecurity that we struggle with everyday. That feeling that awakens when everyone is gone and it’s just us and the four walls. It could be an ugly addiction, a weight issue, low self esteem, whatever it might be. We all have them or at least most of us do. Those personal struggles that seem inferior in the eyes of others but to us they are gigantic mountains that keep holding us back.

Those were the thoughts running through my mind as I sat on my bed with my diary. I was getting ready to write prayer requests for the coming New Year as is the custom in my family. Every New Year’s Eve we each write a list of what we’d like God to do for us in the coming year and commit them to Him before the clock strikes midnight. It’s a practice I thoroughly enjoy because unlike New Year resolutions, I actually get results. On this particular one, I was reflecting on the year that was 2015 and the ones before that. The ups and the downs, the happy and sad moments, but mostly the inner struggles I’d had over the years.

Most people describe me as bold, full of life, which I am for the most part but no one till recently knew the inner struggle I’ve had over time. I could spend all day listing them but I’ll spare you the agony and summarize them in one word. Self doubt. Simple definition is ‘a lack of confidence in one’s abilities.’ I have doubted everything and anything about myself. Many are the times I would decide to embark on something, this blog included, but the first thought that would come to my mind is, “I won’t be able to pull this off”, “ it’s not good enough and “I’m not good enough” .

HHH

I remember when I joined campus and was so eager to start writing, which I did, but every time I’d write one I’d either delete or stash it in a hidden folder because they never seemed good enough to me. So I kept that buried as the rest of my counterparts wrote more articles and even started blogs. This also trickled to my spiritual life as a worshipper. I was a prayer coordinator but I battled with the same feelings through my tenure. When it came to singing I always felt my voice wasn’t that good and I’d dread the Sundays I’d be leading because all I would think about was how I’d get up there, mess up all the keys and spoil the worship session. It’s a prison that makes you recoil into a shell of defeat. You disqualify yourself before you even start the race.

But on that day on New Year’s Eve, with tears trickling down my face I asked God to help me write one meaningful request for the year. I was so fed up with being stuck in the same cycle over and over. I can’t tell you it was a whisper or a thunderous voice but in the deepest part of my heart I heard one word, NEWNESS. Rev 21:5 Behold I am making everything NEW. It was a promise that He was turning my life around and starting a new chapter in my life; and four months down the line, boy has He done a lot!

I finally started writing And publishing my articles. I have published a few in my Campus publication. I began a business that I’ll talk about later on and of course this very amazing blog which I’m terrified and excited at the same time. And I also shaved my hairJ. A very bold step for any lady (though I screamed through the entire process) but all in all I’m finally coming out. Out of the shell of doubt I’ve hidden in and allowed to control my life.

FINAL 3

I may still have some traces of it but the most important thing is that I’ve began the journey, and I’m loving it. So I hope to inspire you, dear one. Whatever insecurity you might be having, whatever shell you may be hiding in, take that step of faith and come out. You never know. You might just discover a treasure that you never knew existed.

 

PHOTOGRAPHY BY

POINT O Photography

0708095120

 

 

 

 

Love & Blessings
77 Responses
  • ekisaimmaculate
    November 9, 2016

    wow…..the exact words i have been looking for
    THANK DEAR,you don’t know what you have done to my life
    Be Blessed

    • Adorned Woman Kenya
      November 11, 2016

      Awww.. I’m humbled that God has used this to minister to you. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you Philippians 4:13 Lots of love

  • josnduati
    May 4, 2016

    Let it all out girl!!! *black Detriot accent!* Im so happy for you madam Ivy(Not sure if I can call you kamum lest I be sued 🙂 🙂 :)Get ready to impact trillions.God bless you bubbles 🙂

  • Peterson Kirui
    April 29, 2016

    Great inspiration. Thank you God bless you

  • john junior
    April 27, 2016

    IVY… i cannot fully express how happy & inspired i am by this article. i’ve been spoken to, to the core!! I bless GOD for you & for all the beautiful things He’s doing in your life

  • Maestrofficial
    April 27, 2016

    Ivy, great piece of confessions. We’ve been there and truth is Ministry can be hectic and truth is if you avail yourself for every ministry it might help you bt the worst thing is when one forgets there personal relationship with Christ, the reading of the Bible, the prayers, personal Devotions, etc.
    Then you’ll always be seen as a faithful servant but inside you know you got nothing. In short you are an empty shell.
    Truth is, I have been there however I didn’t relinquish every role but just ‘reduced my Church leadership roles so that I can be effective in what I put my hands to 1st Cor 14:14 Talks of being fruitful in spiritual things, Mind and Spirit have to work together to achieve that.
    May God Bless you Sister

  • Sandy
    April 26, 2016

    Whoa Ivy!Amazing article that was!
    Keep it up sister.CaNNOT wait for the next.

  • Grace Koome
    April 25, 2016

    Glory n honour be to our God! This is excellent work Ivy. I pray that God will continue to support you even in this. You are destined for greatness dear. Isaiah 8:18. God bless you n everyone who reads n encourages you. Mum

  • smartfeature
    April 25, 2016

    Great piece here. Blessings

  • Alice Amaya
    April 25, 2016

    Wow Ivy! Such great command of the English language and content that can relate to many people. I am so wowed yaani. So inspired totally. Dont stop now. It’s your thing. Go after it like it’s all that matters. God shall use you to change lives through your blog

  • Maestrofficial
    April 25, 2016

    Nice one @Ivy. May you write more and more to inspire many for His Glory.
    Stay Blessed.

  • Maestrofficial
    April 25, 2016

    Reblogged this on Maestro's Two Cents and commented:
    Lovely post by my dear Siz Ivy. Have a read. The word is Get out of your comfort zone. #BreakOut

  • Betty
    April 24, 2016

    please tell me the next piece is ready tho I read it late I guess I now have a reason to be online 24/7
    I loved it keep it up

    • adornedwomanke
      April 25, 2016

      So sweet.Thanks Betty:-) . I’ll be posting the next one soon. You can also subscribe to the blog so that you can be updated every time there’s a post. Its right at the bottom

  • yegonemmanuel
    April 24, 2016

    Reblogged this on yegonemmanuel.

  • Dennis Bett
    April 23, 2016

    Such a bold step Ivy. Very inspiring. God bless.

  • lena
    April 23, 2016

    Wow indeed this is so inspiring…

  • ndutakibue
    April 23, 2016

    I’m Inspired Ivy.Eureka!

  • Judah Ben-Hur
    April 23, 2016

    I totally relate to what you saying. nice piece Ivy

  • R. M
    April 23, 2016

    May your newness never fade. Explore the gifts you have more. Great and inspiring read. R. M

  • fridahmukuria
    April 23, 2016

    I love this.. You’ve spoken my struggles. I need not to tell you that you can do this coz you have done it already, you just have to continue!!

  • Karenge
    April 23, 2016

    Amazing ????????

  • Peris
    April 23, 2016

    Woooow Ivy this is amazing!

  • belinda
    April 23, 2016

    I’ve always wanted to use this word.
    Atta girl!!!!

    Defined:”an exclamation,an informal expression of encouragement or admiration to a woman or girl” Google source

  • Josephine
    April 23, 2016

    I am so proud of you love..Keep on keeping on. ????

  • Dixon (Point O Photography)
    April 23, 2016

    Very humbling and inspiring indeed. I love it. Get on more so that we read more

  • Yvonne Mwajuma
    April 23, 2016

    Honesty is always a breath of fresh air to me. I love the article. Keep writing! The world needs women like you!

  • Victor Odhiambo
    April 23, 2016

    rarely do I find someone write so eloquently and bold enough as though they had me in their minds as they were writing. you deserve a thumbs up. I thought this was like tenth article but discovered its your first. I can wait for the subsequent ones to come. you are an amazingly gifted writer. keep at it. you may just be started on your journey to the stars.

  • Judy Kinya
    April 22, 2016

    Totally enjoyed reading.Keep up it up Ivy and God bless.

    • adornedwomanke
      April 22, 2016

      Wow. Thanks cousin. I appreciate your sentiments. God bless you too.

  • Jed- darling of Jehovah
    April 22, 2016

    Darling, I told you there’s a treasure deposited in your vessel that will not quit flowing over. Be that instrument that restores beauty to ashes. I believe in your greatness. Let it explode!!
    My love,forever for always????

    • adornedwomanke
      April 22, 2016

      AMEN mami… Thank you so much. You are an adorned woman too. Lots of love

  • Marvin Gakunyi
    April 22, 2016

    You are a gifted lady that I have worked with. Brace yourself and write your name on the board of heroins with an indelible ink. Go go dear.

  • Soh Ojiambo
    April 22, 2016

    This is a good start… Insecurities never cease. You only have to transcend them.

  • shiro kuriah
    April 22, 2016

    wow i love it love the honesty you can’t help but read .

    i am so encouraged

    can’t wait for the next post
    and the photos are so pretty so beautiful

    • adornedwomanke
      April 22, 2016

      Thank you hunny. It’s through sharing our experiences honestly that we can encourage each other

  • Aburi
    April 22, 2016

    it really does resonate to what majority of us in the body of Christ face each day,this is a bold step you have taken and keep it shining for liberation of many souls for God’s kingdom.
    very inspiring.

  • Lazarus Nadebu
    April 22, 2016

    Splendid. I guess this is writing intended for social change

  • Mukoma
    April 22, 2016

    Good piece, good start.
    Very on point.
    Waiting for more. And more. May He use you to reveal the truths He has placed in your heart.
    Barikiwa!

  • TOP SPOT
    April 22, 2016

    Chic chic chic..now herez the plan, the next time i get in here and miss an article, all sue you! For denying me my right to receiving information.
    THIS IS WHAT I WANT EVERYDAY! Can we have a deal Ivy?
    I loooooove it,self-doubt is a ‘cancer’ that eats you aaaall long! Asanta sana
    This tops my list of Best Reads this 2016. Give me more.

  • TOP SPOT
    April 22, 2016

    Chic chic chic..now herez the plan, the next time i get in here and miss an article, all sue you! For denying me my right to receiving information.
    THIS IS WANT I WANT EVERYDAY! Can we have a deal Ivy?
    I loooooove it,self-doubt is a ‘cancer’ that eats you aaaall long! Asanta sana
    This tops my list of Best Reads this 2016. Give me more.

  • omathvictor
    April 22, 2016

    True… so inspiring for those who have self- doubt.We all never feel good enough until someone tells us.Ivy your good.

  • I'M EMM
    April 22, 2016

    I’m inspired gal,,,I love it already..now keep writing n i’l b here to read

  • winfreywanjiru
    April 22, 2016

    Insecurities never end, all people ever do is fight that battle in the mind that tells you the negative. I am inspired by this article because I also battle my Insecurities everyday. Keep on writing dear.

    • adornedwomanke
      April 22, 2016

      You have been one of my greatest inspirations. Thank u dear

  • Bob ayoti
    April 22, 2016

    Awesome read my dear. Very inspiring to them that still struggle with self – doubt. This is just the beginning. Looking out for more. God bless you

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