There’s nothing greater than finding love. More so in a person. A person through whom you learn life changing lessons by simply observing them. That’s the definition of the love of my life. A beautiful soul with the smile of an angel and a personality that lights up a dark room. He is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received in life, and although I don’t have the privilege of spending every waking day with him, I treasure the few that I get.
I can almost feel the excitement in your heart right now, me talking about love and all, and trust me I’m excited too. I love talking about him, but as much as I’d love to ramble about him all day and probably throw a few pictures here of his adorable self, I won’t be able to do so. We decided to keep his identity private when it comes to social media.
However, just to give you a small glimpse of who he is, I’ll let you in on a little scoop. In a month’s time, he, the love of my life, will be 2 years of age. Yap. That’s right. He is 1 year, 11months old. Sorry to burst your bubble guys haha. The love of my life that I’m talking about happens to be my nephew. A little ball of sunshine who’s currently holding the title of ‘most favorite person’ in our family.
The year was 2014, around the hours of 10 O’clock when I met Him. A tiny cute baby and the first person to promote me to the status of ‘Aunt’. Since then, I have cherished and enjoyed watching him as he moves from one stage of life to another.The crying, sleeping, crawling and talking stage.
My personal favorite however, was when he started walking. He had just finished the crawling phase and being the adventurous person he is it was just a matter of time. He began by trying to stand on his little feet which would last for only so long. He then started supporting himself on furniture and people and taking a couple of steps. As he tried it, he would wobble and stagger for the most part but still continued determined to walk by himself. And day by day, he got better at it. Then there were days He’d feel extremely confident and try taking a few steps without support and just when he thought he had it, he would fall on the floor. Or rather into his mother’s arms. I don’t know how but somehow his mom would always appear out of nowhere and get to him before his crush landing.
Finally, after a long time away in school, I went to his place to visit and guess who came running like a mini ‘Rudisha’ when I opened the door. I dropped my bag and screamed my lungs out. It was one of my happiest moments. Since then, he’s been walking, running, jumping and climbing every climbable thing or person on sight.
I was taken back to this trip down memory lane by a couple of precious jewels with whom I’ve had the privilege of interacting with through this blog. The wonderful gents and ladies who’ve opened up to me about their personal insecurities and hurdles in life . I am writing this for you with the hope of encouraging you to soldier on in your journey.
Most of you think that I woke up one day all confident, threw my blankets and started reshuffling my life. That I just magically got over the fears and doubts I had. How I wish. But it’s nothing close to that. It’s been a journey of taking many small baby steps. It still is. It’s a journey of learning to walk and finding my footing. My best friend can tell you some pretty interesting stories of how I tremble and sweat like a rat every time I’m about to hit the ‘publish’ button on this blog. How at times I sleep feeling confident of my decisions and the minute I wake up I get hit by a wave of all those fears and doubts I’ve had in the past. How at times I want to crawl back to that lonely shell again.
That’s how it is at times. But every day, just like that little baby, I have to keep rising up and taking another step. I had to take the first step of conquering self doubt by letting people read my work. By starting this blog. By taking a break and cutting out some people from my life. And each day as I write and post, as I choose to focus on the positives instead of the negatives, it gets easier. I’m becoming more confident and the fear is slowly fading away.
And at times I have to do it despite the negative feelings I have.
For I have learnt that it’s through the wobbling and the staggering, the falling down and rising up. Through trying over and over each day and having faith to take another step that I’ve grown stronger and the journey become much easier. It didn’t magically change in a day.
Sometimes we think that it will all change one day. That nasty addiction we can’t get over, the painful heartbreak we went through, that insecurity we have about ourselves, the bitterness we harbor against a particular person. We assume that one day it will all go away. We wish it would. But that rarely happens. It’s usually a journey. One that begins by making one baby step, and another and another. And with time we get closer to the destination and the effects wear off as we become stronger and stronger.
You’ll only conquer your battles by taking the steps needed. That little baby keeps trying in faith that one day He’ll be able to walk on His own. So should you. Start and have faith that one day you’ll make it. And even if you stumble or fall, and you will at times, take heart. There’s someone holding your hand. Just like a mother sweeps in to hold her baby before he falls, God is ever present. Ready to catch you and get you back on your feet.
Psalm 37:23; If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm, though he stumble he will not fall, for the Lord upholds Him with his hand (NIV)
Keep taking the baby steps. With time, you’ll learn to walk, run, climb and who knows, one day, you might just fly.
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