It was April 14th 2013 at the second row of church on a bright sunny morning.
I was at a point in my life where a quarter of my life was in Jesus and the other three quarters in the world. I guess you could say I liked God and loooved myself and the world. This particular Sunday was a Holy Communion Sunday. I wasn’t a fan of it as I never partook of it anyway. In my mind, I always pictured a lightning striking me down if I ever dared to touch those elements with my ‘sinny’ hands.
So as usual, when the tray reached me, I gladly passed it over to the next person. But this time round the weirdest thing happened. The minute I passed it over, I had something in me say, “the same way this elements have passed you, is the same way heaven will pass you by if you keep up with the life you are living” (now I know that something was the Holy spirit)
That startled me and for a few seconds I remained in a sort of confused state until the pastor began reading scripture. As he began speaking, a stream of tears out of nowhere began to gush out. At first they were tidy tears but before long I was sobbing like a baby. I was feeling such strong love around me and at the same a deep sense of remorse in my heart. “How could I have rejected Him all this time?” is what kept ringing in my head.
Long story short, in the midst of that crazy weeping, I repented to Jesus and gave my whole life to him (all the quarters I was keeping). Later that night, I broke up with the guy I was dating (I wasn’t gonna play around anymore) and since then I’ve been on a journey of breaking up with everything and everyone who hinders my relationship with Jesus by His grace.
4 years later, which is today 🙂 I feel like a girl who has just fallen in love with a guy who is beyond her wildest dreams. Jesus has taught me to love him, He’s taught me to be honest with Him, vulnerable before Him, He has showed me love in my worst of worsts and He has molded into a woman I never imagined I would ever be.
It’s been an intimate journey of tears, laughter, messing up and getting up again, wrestling when I don’t want to let go of things that He says I need to let go of and discovering new things about Him every day.
For the first time, I have experienced unconditional love. A love that loves me for who I am not what I can offer. When He touches me, it’s not because he’s trying to compel me to give him a few seconds of satisfaction. No, when Jesus touches me, it’s because He wants me to know how deep His love is for me, because He wants me to experience ecstasies in Him, more than the ones I used to seek. When I’m with Him, He isn’t distracted by the voluptuous girl who just passed by, or the job assignment he needs to attend to. No, when He is with me (which is ALL the time) He has His full attention on me. He is looking deep into my eyes, even though at times I turn my attention to other useless things.
And you know what; His love is for you too. It’s for everyone who is willing to lay down their lives and allow Him to be the one in control. He doesn’t have a group of people whom he prefers to others. He loves us all and desires that we would all come to Him.
So my request to you is this, especially this being the season when we celebrate his death & resurrection, take that step of faith and give your life to Jesus. I tried a bit of the world and now I’ve tried Him, and I know this, this world- the ‘fun’, partying, drugs, sex, money, relationships, whatever it might be are all meaningless. Even the good things in life, as long as Jesus isn’t the center, they are all vanity.
As I celebrate my anniversary, my prayer is that Jesus would become the Lord of someone reading this or even if they won’t read, wherever they might be, I pray for my peers, my friends and my generation. I pray that we would all find Jesus and fall madly in love with Him.
There’s no one like Him guys. No one!!!!
Happy Easter to all of you.
PS;;this is my new website. I don’t know if I’ll be active or not but I just thought I should let you know that we have moved to this side 🙂