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Thoughts in the night

2/7/2017 – 11:51 pm.

Its dark and silent.

I’m trying to sleep but I can’t. My mind is on the guys who’ve impacted my life. From my mom, my mentor, preachers like Eric Gilmour, Michael Koulianos, Brian Guerin, Bill Johnson, Daniel kolenda, worshipers like Misty Edwards, Amanda cook, Stephanie … the list is too long. People who have not only taught me but I’ve  seen  live out a true intimate love life with Jesus. People who’ve left me with a craving for Jesus.  

A while ago, I felt like what they had with Jesus was for the “super spiritual people”. The kind who do 40 day fasts and pray for 10 hours straight. The kind who never mess up like me. 

Ironically, I see it now in my life. Jesus has been so kind, even though I’m just taking baby steps, to use me in the lives of others.  I interact with guys and some can’t stop singing how I’m this and that and for some I see a longing in their eyes, the unspoken words that they are too afraid to say ” Ooh she is so deep.  Will I ever be like her? Will I ever qualify “

I spent my Sunday afternoon (yesterday)  asking Jesus, “What should I do? What should i do when people look at me and think what i have with you is only for the “special ones” and not for them?’

It wasn’t till 11 pm while tossing and turning in bed  when my Jesus answered, and these words began to flow in my mind…


I pray that you would not think more of me than you ought to
I pray that you would remove me from the high pedestal you’ve placed me on, for only The King deserves such exaltation..

I pray  you would realize that this relationship I have with Jesus isn’t for the preacher & the prophet, neither is it for the one who’s been longest in Christianity.

I pray that you would realize that when God said He loved the world so much & sent his son  for it,  He was referring specifically to you, to me, to every human on earth..not a select few…

But yet again I reckon that these words, even if I speak them over & over will fall on dead ears until you personally experience  Jesus.
For when you meet Him, when He swallows you in and you begin to know Him intimately,  you will realize that He never preserved Himself for the “greats” alone

When He was headed to Jairus, an important synagogue ruler, He stopped for a lowly outcast woman. A nobody who was considered filthy and gave her all His attention. He never once considered ignoring her because He was with an important man.

When the crowds were pressing in, He stopped for this short man Zaccheaus on a tree, a sinner of sinners and took time to eat with Him, laugh with Him and spend time with Him .

Jesus attended to everyone
Both the Poor and the Rich
The Beautiful and the Unwanted
The Scholar & the Fisherman
The Pharisee & the Prostitute

He loves each one of us
He stands at the door, like the gentleman He is and knocks, waiting, longing to be invited in.

It’s His intention that through every “deep spiritual person” you meet, every person you think dines and eats in heaven while you receive the crumbs, 

that through this men and women, a hunger would be sparked in your heart
A desire would rise up and make you go in search for Him- Jesus

Its not His intention that we glorify His children or feel like lesser people compared to them. He desires that when we meet people we admire,  we would go back to our Homes, lock ourselves in our rooms and say “Jesus I wanna know you like he/she knows you. I wanna fall in love with you and experience you like they have”

Its His intention that we meet Him. Its His intention that YOU meet Him, literally, every day!!!!

And How do we do we meet Him?

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it shall be given to you…

Ask Jesus to give you more of Himself… and never stop asking…

It’s one of His favorite  prayer requests… 🙂

Love & Blessings
2 Responses
  • Winfrey
    November 7, 2017

    love it!!

  • Shantal
    July 3, 2017

    Beautiful beautiful beautiful.
    So real deep and true straight from your heart.

    God is doing so much through you . ❤❤❤

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