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Putting it aside,

Posted on 4

 

I’m putting it aside,
This pride and ego
That I’ve nursed and cradled
Like a baby with no Mother

 

I got used to the art of being rogue,
Running away from true human contact
Retiring to the quick , “hey, how you doing?” while my feet face the door
Fake!

 

I’ve hated vulnerability,
I’ve hated the thought of pouring out my real heart to a bunch of humans susceptible to treading all over it
with muddy feet,

 

I thought I was being wise
But in reality I was just an insecure child
Afraid of rejection,
Afraid of being hurt,
Afraid of giving my heart and not receiving the same back,

 

But what if in the midst of this potential disaster of being hurt by friends,
What if in the midst of possibly offending and being offended by them, lies incredible beautiful moments,

 

Moments of making memories that I’d never make alone,
Walks under moon filled nights,
People to hold my arms in the heat of the battle when I’m too weak to keep them up, like Aaron did for Moses,

Moments of tumultuous belly laughs that wet our eyes,
Moments of sitting in the crowd and cheering for my friends as they shine,
Moments of sitting on the floor, legs crossed,  with a box of tissues,
laying open our mistakes and messes to each other,
Moments of whetting each others appetite as we tell stories of our individual escapades with Jesus

What if while I’m busy guarding my heart from hurt,
I’m also guarding it from inexpressible love, fun, support and growth in the midst of friends
What if? What if?

 

I want it,
I want the beauty of true friendship and love,
even if it comes mixed up with a whole of messy uncomfortable moments,

 

The cost is far too small compared to its reward,
So I choose to set aside my pride, ego, fear
I choose to lay them at the cross
I choose to feel the momentary pain of my selfish wants dying on that cross
In exchange for countless moments of beautiful memories alongside the friends He brings to my life

 

I put it all aside
And I choose Love
Fierce Love that is honest, vulnerable and messy

Love & Blessings
15 Responses
  • ebby
    May 23, 2018

    Wow…

  • Betty
    November 5, 2017

    Wow! Ivy I must say you’ve motivated me to get to establish a stable relationship with the Lord. Reading the Bible was boring but your poems…they get me attracted to reading it and knowing more. You are a blessing 😍

  • Soh Ojiambo
    October 13, 2017

    Wow….! Amazing…. I wish to do that but I don’t know how…. Your work has lit my way…. it’s time to put aside the boring, rigorous norm and walk the untrodden path…..! It’s such a blessing to read this work in the morning. God bless you, Daughter of God…!

    • Koome Ivy
      October 16, 2017

      Thank you so much Soh… 💛

    • Nempiris
      October 17, 2017

      Thank you for teaching me intimacy with Jesus ..
      Being real ,being me,being the unedited script with Him.😢😊

      Woaah you such a poet..such beauty…i feel like am falling more n more in love with Him#intimacywithJESUS

      • Koome Ivy
        October 17, 2017

        You’ll make me cry 😿😿 I love you gal

  • Kiplimo Tallam
    October 12, 2017

    Great read.

    • Koome Ivy
      October 16, 2017

      Shukran

    • Nempiris
      October 17, 2017

      Thank you for teaching me intimacy with Jesus ..
      Being real ,being me,being the unedited script with Him.😢😊

      Woaah you such a poet..such beauty…i feel like am falling more n more in love with Him#intimacywithJESUS

  • Liali Joseph
    October 12, 2017

    You growing great dear, I cede also the mantle of creativity with poetry, I can only pray you never perform a spoken word better. Looks like the only thing I have left on you now.
    Thanks for reminding this beauty of Christian friendship. It’s beautiful in its messes.

  • John Nyonje
    October 11, 2017

    Felicitations are in order! Inspiring indeed.
    Bravo!

    • Alice Ronnie
      October 11, 2017

      As always I love your ability to use words to bring out the exact feeling. As you read on you truly connect and identify with the content. Don’t stop anywhere Ivy. Allow God to expand and bring out this gift in a way you never imagined.
      P.S. Love the pictures. The first one took me way back. Memories nazo

    • Koome Ivy
      October 16, 2017

      Asante

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